2003-08-27 - 11:45 a.m.
I have a lot of dreams at the West 4th Street station in NYC. I feel sometimes like I spent the bulk of my life there. Waiting for a train. I also dream about the Broadway/Lafayette station. Which was my station when I lived in Manhattan. Before I moved to Brooklyn. I rarely dream about my Brooklyn station. I dream about walking *to* the station though. The walk to the station was big for me. I had a lot of emotions tied up in that walk. That walk was a test for a lot of my relationships. People who complained about the walk were deemed inferior. I think these days I'd be someone who complained about the walk. I don't know if that means I think I'm inferior to the person I was in Brooklyn. Or if my life is just so different now that it's difficult to compare properly.
I miss New York a lot. Is what I think it means. I don't know that I'll ever reconcile myself to not living there.
I tried to join the gym yesterday at work. I couldn't get the gym door open so I walked away. The Girl told me I should have pulled harder on the handle. I think they have the access set up so your ID card only opens the door if you're a member.
I think that system makes it difficult to actually join.
I'm going to try again today. Maybe I can time it so I enter when someone else enters.